Calm before the storm

It is the end of week three post my first chemo session. And I feel rather well. I am driving, cooking and (sort of) cleaning and knitting up a storm. Since my hair loss I've knit 4 chemo caps and my shawl is coming along nicely. The dogs and I get to spend time outdoors playing catch until we are all tired. Things are good. So where is this all leading one might ask. Tomorrow officially begins session two. And I do not want to start this all over again.

The first time I received chemo I was rather excited. Finally we were doing something. After waiting for a diagnosis and then analysis of the tumor and then a date to begin, the wheels were in motion. I remember driving to the Dyson Center thinking that I could hardly wait to have the experience, to get going.

Now I know what to expect. I will be receiving even more steroids before I begin the treatments so that I don't have another reaction to the Taxatol. During the next few weeks I'll feel even more tired, I'll be nauseated again. I'll be weak, my bones and muscles will ache and I won't be able to spend much time with my dogs. It's gonna suck. Emotionally I really have no need to repeat this process.

My first visit post chemo at the oncologist's office I met with the NP. Naively I noted that at least the next time this whole post chemo thing should go better as now my body would build a tolerance to the medications. Marcie just shook her head 'no' and said, "It will be worse. Chemo is accumulative as are the side effects." Oh boy.

So I have all of my extra fluids and hard candy ready. My anti-emetics, pain meds, the house will be clean and the laundry finished. As I wait to see what happens next.