And so it came to pass

Wednesday morning before Thanksgiving I went to work and called my faithful surgeon friend Zoe. I told her my concerns and she went into overdrive ordering tests and scans and blood work and ultrasounds all in the same day."Geez Louise", I thought. Good thing nothing is gonna come of this because Zoe's energy would wear me out before diagnosis time. Yes I was convinced that all would be well because in our family there was no history of breast cancer. Oh we had our cancers all right. Colon on the paternal side (but thankfully not the pater himself) and skin cancer. Matter of fact that was where father was presently excelling as he had skin cancer with mets. Just diagnosed, just surged. And the family didn't need any more drama. I was kind of figuring that the colon being in a whole separate part of the body and on the inside to boot there'd be no chance of my Grandmother Anastasia's cancer being related to my breast lump. A lump, by the way, which I could not feel the next morning. And darned if I wasn't correct. No corealtion at all. Not that that ended up doing me any good.

So testing complete the world shut down for the Thanksgiving holiday. I had survived the urge to clock the radiologist who'd come into the room after reading the mammograms and ultrasound that Wednesday afternoon to tell me, in all freaking seriousness .... "I found a lump." Well no idiot you didn't find a lump. Matter of fact it was me. I found it. It's mine. So there. Men.

Thursday a.m. I tottled up to the hospital and signed on to the website which posts results of patient exams. I looked mine up knowing that it would say "1 cm. benign appearing nodule at 12 o'clock in the left breast. Clinical corealtion not necessary." However someone switched reports. Mine read, "1 cm. nodule highly suspicous for malignancy at 12 o'clock in the left breast. Clinical corealtion advised.".

And time stood still. Shit. Are you kidding me?